Jampa Pawo: Final Letters and A Journal Entry

From the Journal of Jampa Pawo

This is an excerpt from a journal entry Jampa Pawo wrote in 2005, long before he had found Buddhism. To me it speaks of the kind of person he already was when he began to study the dharma. This passage was read at Jampa’s Shing Kam ceremony by his lawyer, Dave Blickenstaff on April 30, 2016.

 

Some guys ask, “Why change when they are going to kill you?”, or, “They are going to execute me, so nothing I do means anything.”  But to me I think that if you become a better person, accomplish your goals, and leave something of yourself behind, you are showing that you are a person capable of change, good, and that there is hope even for the worst of people.

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[W]hen they kill me, they will be killing a very flawed person that made many terrible mistakes, but in the end changed his life, was remorseful and sorry for his crimes, grew, matured, and tried to do something with the life he had left.  I did not just sit in my cell, waste my time, or fall back on what brought me here.  You have to give your life meaning.  There will be no meaning unless you search for it and find it within yourself.  You have to find out who you are, your thoughts, feelings, the things you like or dislike, and find something to believe in.  If you dedicate yourself to a better life, set goals, and do things that have meaning to you, then everything that you do will be meaningful, and will be left behind after you are gone.  If not in a physical presence, it will be in the hearts and minds of those that care about you and love you.

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Jampa Pawo was executed on Wednesday evening at about 9:45pm.

I was not permitted to give the prayer for him, but Jampa and the prison chaplain and I discussed what the prison chaplain might say. We thought that the Prayer of St. Francis would be good for all in attendance. Daniel and I also asked for lines from the Shambhala Sadhana to be said.

On the day of the execution Chaplain Miller told Daniel and me that Daniel should consider saying the Sadhana lines himself. He said that whatever Daniel said would be recorded and reported whereas if he said them, reports would be only that the chaplain said a prayer.

 Daniel had planned already to be deep into his own Vajrasattva practice with me doing the same as a witness. My suggestion was that tell he the chaplain and the warden that he would decide at the time.

 Strapped down on a tilted gurney with an IV in each arm, Jampa did speak. When the warden asked if he had last words, Jampa said that if members of the Moss (the victims’) family were present, he wanted them to know that he was sorry for the pain he had caused them. He was sorry too for the pain he caused his family and “I love you.” And then he said that he wanted to recite a short prayer:

 All beings are basically good.

All beings are basically wise.

All beings are basically kind.

All beings are basically strong.

As the execution proceeded, Jampa’s lips were moving and I know that he was reciting the Vajrasattva mantra. His eyes closed and he continued to say the mantra. And then his lips stopped moving. Several minutes later two people entered, took his vital signs, and pronounced him dead.

 This was a kind and courageous person to the very end of this life. I want the Sakyong and the community to know how much Shambhala meant to Jampa. He had found the Buddha and the dharmic path, but he needed a sangha. He was so grateful for us.

Yours in the sangha,

Norma

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A Letter from Acharya Richard John to Jampa Pawo (Daniel)

April 2, 2016

Dear Daniel,

Thank you so much for your letter of Feb. 20. It’s excellent that you now have the Shambhala Sadhana from Norma, and the Shambhala Vow from Alice Haspray.

Norma sent me copies of your poems—they are quite beautiful and extraordinary. She also posted your letter to the Shambhala sangha, and people I talk to have found it extremely moving. The prison is the most obvious example of a charnel ground, and you are the yogin in the charnel ground. It is ironic but not unusual for a practitioner like yourself to be an example of an aspiring bodhisattva in the midst of the worst possible circumstance.

Your question about how to practice basic goodness when people in the environment seem to be expressing the opposite is very important. I’m afraid there is no easy conceptual answer, but what you are already doing is the true answer. None of us can possibly “fix” the situation, or fix other people. Not even the Buddha could do that. All he could do was offer his own wisdom and be an example of basic goodness, and he had no control over whether people received it or rejected it.

Everyone has their accumulated karma, which shapes their lives (and your own life is an example). All anyone can do is exactly what you are already doing: Open your heart, keep your discipline, (in Shambhala we call it “holding your seat”) and provide an example of the Gentle Warrior. Your example will resonate in ways we do not understand, even after your life is over. There is nothing more powerful you can do than to keep recognizing basic goodness in yourself and in others, even when they violate it in their own behavior.

Please see my letter, which I sent to your lawyers to give to the Clemency Board.  There is always a chance for some sort of “miracle,” but it is of no use whatsoever for you to expect it or even hope for it. We are all going to die sooner or later in any case, and what matters is to be deeply prepared for that great transition.

My most personal heart advice to you is to assume that you will die when the time comes, and move towards that as a warrior and bodhisattva. You already understand the profound importance of having compassion in your heart. But at this point you should not strive to accumulate or accomplish anything further. You should now commit yourself to letting go. That means simplifying everything, reducing your struggles, giving up further plans, and—strange as it may sound—to relax with everything just as it is. That is the best approach, and will lay the ground for an excellent rebirth. If you happen to be granted life without parole (which as you know is unlikely), then that is a wonderful gift, and you can be of benefit to others for the rest of this lifetime. But if not, then it will just have to happen in your next lifetime.

With love and appreciation,

Richard

A Letter from Jampa Pawo (Daniel) to Acharya Richard John

4/4/16

Dear Acharya Richard John,

Hello! How are you doing and how is your practice? As always I hope you’re in good health and positive spirits. I am doing well. Thank you for the “Hundred Thousand Songs of Milarepa.” I just received it through the prison chaplain last week. I haven’t had time to really read it yet, but I have looked through it and read some of the songs. They are so beautiful and inspiring!

In the last two weeks the majority of my time has been used to write letters to my friends and family; letting them know what’s happening; telling everyone how much they mean to me; and sending out my possessions. I’ve also worked on completing as much as possible of the “Discovering Buddhism” course. There have also been a lot of visits with my attorneys, Dan and Norma, and my family so there have been a few days where I didn’t practice any formal meditation.

However, this whole experience is a teaching. Knowing you have an impending execution date gives you an increased awareness of impermanence and death. The surreal, dream-like quality of the experience reminds you of emptiness, that even though various phenomena appear to us, they are empty of inherent existence. Further, these appearances are a product of my karma. I experience them because I created them with my previous actions. When I lost my good friend, Bishop, when he was removed from the cellblock on March 11^th to be put on death watch, I realized there is no protection from suffering in samsara – except for Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. I felt very strongly the meaning of refuge in my heart. I immediately began taking refuge, practicing tonglen, and reciting Vajrasattva’s mantra. It wasn’t an extensive practice but was filled with an intensity of emotion, of sadness, and a wish for all beings to be free from suffering.

I am learning more and more to let go. The more belongings I give away, the more I realize I don’t need them. I need less and less to confirm or validate my existence. I have given Norma all of my Dharma materials (books, notes, studies, CD, etc.), which were difficult to part with because of their importance to me. But even with Dharma, I carry much of the teachings, my heart practices, and devotion to my teachers in my heart. These things are a part of me. However, once I’m placed on death watch I will carry two books with me: Ani Pema’s No time to Lose and Lama Zopa Rinpoche’s book of practices for the time of death. I will also ask if I can have The Hundred Thousand Songs of Milarepa.

Even though this situation is sad, and will only create more suffering if I’m executed, so many auspicious connections and friendships are being made. It is beautiful and amazing, especially the love and support from the Shambhala Sangha. It is very moving and special. Maybe this is our example of basic goodness at work in the world, a teaching we can all take to heart. I am learning so much from this experience, even seemingly random events. They are teaching me Dharma.

If I am executed I am not afraid. I have faith in the Three Jewels, confidence in practice, and I know my Dharma friends will send me their love and prayers and practices. My negative karma is being purified. As I told Norma, my life is not my own. The GA Dept. of Corrections labels me as “state property.” In addition, my friends and family all have their individual ideas of “Daniel,” so that multiple “Daniels” exist without having the slightest atom of inherent existence. Some people love me, some hate me, and others are indifferent or don’t even know me. It’s all emptiness. As Shantideva said, once you have taken the Boddhisattva Vow, you’ve already dedicated your life (body, possessions, and merits) to all beings, so it’s no big deal if people come to harm you, steal from you, or even kill you. You’ve already given everything to sentient beings. Your life is dedicated to sentient beings.

Acharya Richard John, I will end this letter here. I know it is brief, but I wanted to get a letter in the mail to you. [ ] Thank you for giving me the Refuge and Bodhisattva Vows, which are very meaningful to me. That was one of the greatest moments in my life, the result of many prayers, the ripening of good karma, and an unbelievable blessing. I hope I’ve held those commitments in my heart and have honored them. I identify more and more with Jampa Pawo, the essence, not the label. At my best, I try to be the Kindness Warrior in my actions and internally uphold the Fearless Good Heart. Thank you, for your love, kindness, and support. May all sentient beings be free from suffering and have every happiness. Bye, for now.

Love,

Jampa Pawo